Tolle Lege

At the outset I want to be quite clear.  This blog post is not intended to be normative.  This is not a prescription  nor is it some sort of magical key to one's devotional life.  My intention is to relate my own experience in the hopes that those who have personality similar to mine might benefit.

 There are many excellent Bible reading plans available to the Christian.  If one were to read 3 chapters of the Bible each day, and 5 on Sundays, one could read through the entire Bible in a year.  Most Bible reading plans are meant to accomplish this goal.  Many are designed to allow the reader to read through the Psalms, Proverbs, and Gospel's twice, and the rest of the Scriptures once.  One of the better plans is the reading plan by Robert Murray McCheyne which has you read through various types and genres of Scripture simultaneously.

These sorts of reading plans work for many people, and many people derive great benefit from them.  I, however, am not one of them.  For me, these plans make the goal of reading through the Bible more important than reading the Bible.  When I follow one of these plans, I tend to read to finish the section, rather than for understanding.  I recognize that the problem is not with the plans themselves, but with me.  However, I also think that the way I read does not lend itself well to using these methods.  Put simply, it is too fast for me to dig into the text, and too slow for me to synthesize my reading.  Recently, I've found a method that works much better for me, and which has made Bible reading a joy.

Get the Big Picture:
I stumbled across this quite by accident.  For class here at Covenant Seminary (which has a fancy new website) we are required to read the Bible (a more obvious sentence may never have been written!).  Due to the pace of the schedule, this often requires reading large sections of the Bible in one sitting.  Recently, I read Genesis over the course of two days, and Matthew's Gospel in one.  Last semester, I read the majority of Paul's letters in a few days.  I learned two things from this:

1.  "Books" in the Bible are much shorter than we think them to be.  When I opened Genesis in the past I would see the "book" as containing 50 "chapters."  Just the terminology that we use caused me to think of Bible reading as a daunting task.  The 66 books of the Bible are described with terminology similar to a novel.  It gives the perception that they are longer than they really are.  Likewise, "chapter" sounds similar to what you would find inside of a book that you would pick up at Barnes and Noble (...or download on your eReader).   I recognize that this sounds obvious, but reading a "book" or three "chapters" sounds like a difficult task.  In reality, though, reading a whole book of the Bible is not unlike reading a chapter in a "normal" book.  Matthew was, I think, about 35 pages.  Not insurmountable in a single sitting by any means, and it is a fairly "long" book, especially by New Testament standards.

2.  When reading a whole book of the Bible in one or two sittings, you see things that you would have otherwise missed.  At the end of Matthew, the authority and magnificence of Christ are poignant having read the Gospel from start to finish.  One finishes the book and cannot help but to worship, such is the rhetorical force of the book read cover to cover.  This is something that I did not "get" when reading a few chapters a day.

I should mention that I do not read a book of the Bible every day or even every week.  I might do something like this every other week or so.  In the intervening time I think about the book that I read, and reflect on the major themes that it put forth.

Dig Deep:
This likely looks quite different for me than it might for other people.  This daily aspect of my devotional reading was also discovered by accident.  After I finished Greek in exegesis last year, I purchased a Reader's Bible and decided to try to read from it everyday.  Recently, having just finished Hebrew II, I read a Hebrew's reader Bible as well.  Basically, I choose a book (John in the NT and passages from Numbers in the OT), and I read anywhere from a few verses to paragraph (depending on how complicated the section or vocabulary is).  While my "big picture  reading helps me grasp the flow and argument of the book, this allows me to dig deeply into the text and notice minutia that I too easily skip when reading more quickly in English.

As an example, the other night I was reading in Numbers.  I was reading about Caleb encouraging Israel to enter the land despite the presence of mighty people occupying the land because God had promised it to them. The very next verse says that the Israelites picked up stones to stone him. Surely I read that wrong, I thought. But no, that's what it said. When I read that passage in English I read so quickly that I blow right by the enormity of the situation. "Yeah I know," I think, "they don't go into the land." But slowing down and reading the Hebrew, it struck me in a new way. The slavery, the plagues, the Red Sea, the promise to Abraham... The goal is right there, and when Caleb says as much, they pick up stones to stone him.  Wow.

Now, many of you who read this might not be able to read the original languages, but that does not mean you can't intentionally slow down and focus on a few verses.  A good book or two on hermeneutics (how to read) might not be a bad investment of your time.  Learning to read the Bible well is not a skill that we are born with, it is something that we learn.

As I said at the outset, there is no "right" way to read the Bible, but we must read it.  We must be a people of the Book who hear the voice of God and allow it shape, change, and mold us.  I have found a method which allows my Bible reading to be refreshing and exciting, but it might not work for you.  That is okay, but you must, as was famously said to Augustine, "Take up an read." Tolle lege.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Raising a Special Needs Child in Seminary

Seminary life is tough.  Everybody here faces a unique set of challenges as they pursue God's calling.  It seems that any seminary student that you talk to has some sort of unique challenge that they face.  We are no different in this.  For us, aside from the time, financial  and academic stress, our challenge has been raising our special needs child during seminary.

We found out about a week ago that our oldest son has mild Autism.  In years past, his constellation of symptoms would more likely have been called Asperger's syndrome, but with DSM-5 looming, that will no longer be available as a diagnosis.  Mild Autism is a pervasive developmental disorder which manifests itself in various ways.  Often people with autism have a difficult time understanding and reacting to social and relational cues that you and I take for granted.  They often become fixated on one subject (in my son's case right now, cars and trains).  There are also gross and fine motor challenges, as well as sensitivity to sounds, smells, colors, lights, and other sensory stimuli.  It is a difficult disorder to discuss because the symptoms vary greatly from person to person.

To help you understand a bit about our son's challenges, I think it will be helpful to relate a few of the everyday tasks that are a real challenge in our household:

• Eating:  Our boy is an extremely picky eater.  His sensitivity to wide range of sensations makes dinner time a real challenge.  My mom always said that I was a very picky eater (I still am).  Picture a picky eater that you know.  Now, picture that person being picky not just about taste, but about color, temperature, texture, the type of plate the food is on, how many types of food are on one plate, if something smells a bit differently, and so on.  Even the same type of food can be off putting.  We once (foolishly!) bought a different kind of chicken nuggets that were not "crumbly" enough.
• Getting dressed:  With our son's gross and fine motor challenges, he has a great deal of trouble getting dressed.  He cannot put on his socks and shoes.  He can't put on a shirt, or pull down his pants.  As we try to help him learn these skills (which his brother who is 2 years younger picked up on his own) it can be very frustrating for him.
• Social language:  Social language is difficult for our son.  This is a bit hard to describe.  He does not recognize when another person is upset, or even crying.  He does not understand when his friends want to play in a different way, or that he should play in a similar manner to them.  He has very strict rules about how to do things like ride his bike.  If his friends don't follow his rules (even though they are quite arbitrary), it can cause him to "melt down."
• Transitions:  Speaking of melt downs, transitions are very difficult for our son.  There is a certain rhythm and routine to our day, and if those are changed unexpectedly, it can be tough.  Even a rain storm that makes us come inside early can be very traumatic for him.
• Bed time:  Bed time is very difficult.  Many nights, bed time drags on for a few hours. He just can't settle.  He's not being defiant or rebellious, his brain just does not switch off and relax like a neuro-typical person's brain.
• Processing:  In short, Will processes things differently.  He is extremely intelligent.  He is well beyond his age in all of the intelligence benchmarks, but his other limitations are a constant force of frustration for him.  He sees everything differently.

In many ways, the autistic child's mind is constantly trying to organize and make sense of a seemingly chaotic world.  I honestly do not understand how he sees the world, how he thinks.  I know a lot more now than I did a year ago, but much of it is still a mystery.

Raising our autistic son can be a real spiritual struggle.  I mean no offense by this, but if you do not live with an autistic person, it is very difficult to understand what it is like.  It requires constant, unrelenting, and intense focus.  Things don't get better as he gets older.  He isn't just being a boy.  It is not (usually...hopefully) a matter of us failing to discipline properly.  A few years ago, I was the guy in the grocery store who looked at a child screaming about wanting to look at the toys and thinking "My kid will never be that way."  There are bad parents out there, to be sure, but I repent of my arrogance and unloving attitude in those situations.  I know that looking at the toys may be part of the routine, and if you have to quickly run to the store and don't have time to follow the routine, it can be devastating for a kid with Autism.  That happened to us two weeks ago.  1 Timothy 3.4-5 is downright scary  for a person training to be pastor who is the father of an autistic child.  My son's behaviors can so often look like the result of bad parenting.

Life with a special needs child is a struggle.  At times, it makes me question, to my shame, if God's grace really is sufficient.  There are days that, honestly, I just try to get through.  Yet, for every second like that, there are countless hours of joy and happiness generated by our little boy.  He is a very happy, very loving, precious child.  He is truly a gift of God.

On those really tough days, when it is hard to be a good father, when it is just trial after trial and challenge after challenge, I remember that I have Father who loves me even when I frustrate Him.  I have a Father who does not deal with odd taste in food, but with a heart born in rebellion and enmity towards Him.  I have Father who loves me so much that He will stop at nothing to show me His love (1 John 4.10).  Raising a special needs child in the stressful environment of seminary life is a real challenge, but in those moments when I question God's goodness I remember, I'm the special needs child whose Father loves him.  I am loved not because I am good, but because God in His grace chose to love and save me in spite of my rebellion.  This is the Christ-like love that I am called to show to my precious little gift from God.  This is love that I can show only because of and through God's love to me.

My wife and I have decided to be very open with our boys and with others about our son's autism.  This is not an approach that everyone with an autistic child does or should take.  We have chosen to be open about it because it is our hope that someday, our son will know that his autism is not something for him to be ashamed of, and not something that makes us love him less, but it is part of the way that God made him.  God has special and unique plans for him, and hiding his autism will not help him understand that he is loved by us and by God just as he is.  

Autism is a word that many people know, but I think most people (including me until the past year) know very little about it.  Another reason that we are choosing to be open about our life with autism is that we hope that we can perhaps encourage others who are going through similar issues or are curious about the various aspects of parenting an autistic child.  Please, if you have any questions about anything related to our son and his autism, feel free to ask us either in person, via social media (like Facebook), through e-mail, a phone call, or even a comment below.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Of Providence

In my elective class on the Westminster Confession Faith here at Covenant Seminary, Dr. Calhoun asks us to memorize questions from the Westminster Shorter Catechism.  Upon our arrival at class, we occasionally have quizzes on the assigned catechism questions.  The plan last Tuesday was, after studying the night before, that I would wake up and review a bit more so that I would be well ready for the quiz.

Things did not go according to plan.  I overslept my alarm and only had fifteen minutes to get ready.  As I pulled onto I-170, traffic was dead stopped.  I was listening to Holly Dutton's Catechism questions set to music, trying to firm up the questions for the day in my head, and then the words sunk in:

What are God's works of providence?
God's works of providence are his most holy, wise, and powerful preserving and governing all his creatures and all their actions.

It was as if, after studying this question so diligently  I heard it for the first time.  Westminster is very clear that humans are responsible creatures, yet ultimately, it is God who is in control.  It is so easy for me to get so hung up on what I do, that I forget that I have a kind and gracious Father who loves and cares for me.  An all-powerful Father who wants what is best for me.

Looking back on that morning, oversleeping my alarm was a very good thing.  I was completely exhausted and needed some extra rest.  It turned out that we didn't have a quiz that morning, and traffic cleared just in time for me to make it to class.  But what I needed most that morning were not those little graces, what I needed was a reminder that my God is in control, that He loves me, and that He will care for me, just as He always has.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Top 10 for New Seminary Students

A new semester is upon us and I thought, in a gesture of good will, that it would be nice to write a "Top Ten" list for new seminary students.  These are things that I did which worked well, things I failed to do which I regret, and things that I wish I had known when I showed up in Saint Louis.  The list could be expanded (it is mostly focused on the classroom side of things), and if any other seminary students or pastors read this, feel free to add things in the comments.

My top 10 pieces of advise for new seminary students:

10.  Get organized - You will be busy.  You will be very busy.  If you have a job, you'll be busier.  If you have a wife, you'll be even busier.  If you have kids, you'll be busier still.  Believe me, if you have none of those things, there will be plenty of things to keep you busy.  I've yet to meet a student who has had too much time to work on a paper or project.  One of the most important things that you can do is to get organized.  As soon as you get your assignments, plan your semester.  Know when things are due and guess at how long they will take.  Organize files for papers and notes.  Organize the files on your computer into semeseters and classes.  Start organizing your library.  Organize your personal life as well (bills, calender and so forth).  The better organized that you are at the beginning, the easier life will be in crunch time.

9.  Find a church home - Here in St. Louis the number of PCA churches is staggering.  Add the other good churches in the greater St. Louis area, and you could be looking for a church home well into your third year. In my opinion, this isn't an ideal situation.  Visit some churches.  Ask your neighbors where they go and what their church is like.  Visit the ones where you think you can worship and minister.  Once you find one, stick with it. You will need the spiritual support of a good church.

8.  Go to chapel - Chapel here at Covenant is outstanding.  It is one of the best ways to keep all of the knowledge that you will gain in proper perspective.  We aren't here just to learn, we are here to become closer to Jesus.  In chapel you will hear the gospel in word and song.  You will hear from some of the best preachers around.  It is worth your time.  Don't be legalistic about it.  If you need to study for an exam, study for an exam, but try to get in the habit of going as often as you can.

7.  Serve - A professor here told me that one of the best ways to ensure that the knowledge that you gain here is not just academic is to serve.  Serve in anyway you can.  It may be ushering for your church, serving in nursery, participating in mercy ministries, helping with youth group, or any number of other things.  It does not really matter how you are serving, but your time here and all of the knowledge that you gain will be put to better use if you make service a priority.

6.  Get to know your classmates - During seminary you will likely form bonds with people that you will carry through your future ministry.  Spend some time and get to know people.  Study with them, help them if they are in need, pray together, eat together, have fun together.  Your classmates here are not your competition, they are your support.  The seminary does a wonderful job of facilitating this, so use the resources that they provide.  Not everybody here is wonderful.  There are some bad eggs.  There will be many people whom you will meet here that will be growing in grace just like you.  There are very few people (though there are some) who are the same now as when they got here, so get to know your classmates and grow with them.

5.  Do the reading -This may be the single most difficult aspect of seminary.  It was for me.  I don't read very quickly, so it was a real struggle to keep up, but try your hardest.  You will get more out of your classes if you do the reading.  You will understand the subject matter better if you do the reading.  The professors here are pretty smart.  They know what a good book is.  Trust them.  If they think you should read it in preparation for ministry, you probably should.

4.  Go to office hours - I did not do this during my first semester here and it is one of my greatest regrets.  Sign up for office hours.  Your professors are intelligent, experienced, graceful pastors.  Any time that you spend with them is time well spent.  Don't waste thier time.  Go into the office prepared with questions and items that you want to discuss.  Then, just see where the conversation goes.

3.  Ask for help - Do not be afraid to ask for help.  If you are stuck or struggling in class, use your professors, classmates, teacher's assistants, upper class-men, and pastors as a resource.  There is no shame in admitting that you aren't quite understanding.  It is okay to ask for an extension if something serious comes up (but do so knowing that the professor may say no).  Form some study groups.  Do research as part of a group.  Be willing to help others as well.  If you find something great, share it with your classmates.

2.  Be humble - This one is not easy.  If you get a good grade, it is easy to let it go to your head.  If you grasp a topic that one of your classmates is struggling with, it can make you feel superior.  When you go to church on Sunday, you'll have more knowledge and more resources at your disposal than most people in your church.  It can be tough to be humble.  Remember two things: 1. There are a lot of people at the seminary (classmates and professors) who are smarter and more talented than you.  2. Seminary is not a competition.  You are here to learn to serve and use your gifts.  If a classmate is struggling and you could help him but choose not to, then you have failed.  This is a time to strengthen and encourage each other in the Lord.  We are all hear to learn, and learning is difficult without humility.

1.  Be patient - You will not "get" everything.  There will be subjects and parts of subjects that will be difficult, or that you might not understand fully.  You will be confronted with a lot of new ideas and faced with new ways of thinking, and you will not understand them all the first (and sometimes second or third) time.  Be patient.  Seminary is the beginning of a journey, not the end of one.  You will not leave with all of the answers.  Seminary is a place where you learn how to seek the answers, how to read your Bible well.  Be patient with yourself as you are challenged and as you grow.

Finally, and this should be a part of all ten of the things mentioned above, don't forget to seek God.  Do not forget to pray.  Do not forget to read your Bible.  Remember that you are here to be trained as a minister and servant of God and His people.  Place your heart in God's hands and seek Him throughout your seminary experience.

Seminary can be a wonderful.  Covenant certainly is.  Enjoy the time you have been given to learn from your pastors, teachers, books, and friends.  But, above all else, seek the Lord.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

The Most Useless Sort of Christian

Right now, I am the most useless sort of Christian.  In these past few months I have gained a great amount of knowledge.  That knowledge was not given to me in the abstract; it was directed not only to my head, but to my heart as well.  However, over this period of time, I have just been a reseptical.  A lot of stuff going in, and nothing coming out.  This is not how things should be.

My situation has changed dramatically over the past half year.  I went from a job at a secular company, to a full time student learning from some of the best pastors in the PCA.  I now live in a great neighborhood, but here all of my neighbors are Christians.  I went from involvement in teaching Sunday School, working on the missions committee, playing in the church orchestra, and occasionally preaching, to doing, well, nothing.

At the end of the book of Matthew, after powerfully demonstrating Jesus' status as the greater king than David and the greater prophet than Moses, we read this charge given as Jesus departs from the presence of his followers in Matthew 28:

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.   Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Currently, I am only benefiting from others who are carrying this out, but I am failing to do this in any way.  If I take the indicative (id est "what is true") of this passage in Matthew seriously, namely "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me..." (and I do), then I must willingly and gratefully fulfill the imperative (id est "what to do").  As Dr. Chapman pointed out, the emphasis of this passage is on making disciples.  (For those interested, the imperative in this passage is "make disciples" while "go," "baptizing," and "teaching" are participles that help to describe the making of disciples).  If I am not actively involved in making disciples, then I am disobeying my Lord.

There are plenty of excuses that I could make.  I'm new to St. Louis.  I don't know anyone here.  I am trying to get use to a new and busier lifestyle.  I wasn't a member of a church here yet so they might not let me get involved, but that is all they are.  Just excuses for not doing what I should.

In one of my favorite quotes by John Calvin he says:

Here indeed is pure and real religion: faith so joined with an earnest fear of God that this fear also embraces willing reverence, and carries with it such legitimate worship as is prescribed in the law... all men have a vague general veneration for God, but very few really reverence him...” (1,2,2)

In other words, real and authentic Christianity is demonstrated when one loves God so much that he desires to obey Him.  He loves God and God's Law, and obeying that Law is not a burden, but a true joy.  It is my hope that in the coming weeks I will find some places where I can serve and be one who gratefully serves God out of love for Him.  It is my prayer that I will, as our Lord commands, make disciples.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Pastors or Scholars?

When I was accepted to Covenant Seminary, I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  I had been told by many people that it was a great school.  Every Covenant graduate that I met was extremely happy about the time they spent here.  When my wife and I visited the seminary, we came away very impressed.  Instead of "selling" the school during our admissions interview we were advised to confirm our calling to ministry before we decided to come.  In spite of these great endorsements, however, one never is quite sure if a move halfway across the country is really ever a great idea.  I have been here for about six months, and the question "was it worth it?" has been met by an emphatic, "YES!"  I am quite sure that God led me to the right seminary.


There are plenty of seminaries that will give you a good education.  Covenant is no exception.  A quick browse through the faculty shows degrees from Harvard, Princeton, Cambridge, and so forth.  This is not exceptional.   Our professors write articles for journals, have books published, and speak at conferences.  In class we interact with the thoughts and writings of important Christian thinkers and ideas.  We talk about accusativus cum infinitivo in Greek, about Schleiermacher in systematic theology, about critical realism and speech-act theory in our hermeneutics class, and about Aristotle's "On Rhetoric" in homiletics.  All seminaries do these things.  With all of this academic rigor in any seminary curriculum, it is little wonder that many people jokingly call seminary a cemetery.  In fact, Google returned 3.7million hits in 0.36 seconds for the phrase "seminary cemetery."


This, though, is far from the case here at Covenant.  While Dr. Bayer did strongly hint at the existence of a cemetery on campus for students who died learning Greek (a situation that he made sound quite common), Covenant has been a place where one not only grows in knowledge, but in love and faith as well.  At our orientation we were told that the seminary's pedagogical goal was not to put facts in our heads (though they certainly do), but to make us closer to Jesus.  One imagines that many seminaries say this, but here, they mean it.  


Every class in every course is designed to help us not only know about God, but to show us why and how to love Him.  Our professors demonstrate this love of God everyday.  They preach the Gospel to us and show us how to help others understand it.  This is not just something they know in the abstract, it is something they believe and trust in.  Just this past week three professors in different classes were brought to the point of tears when talking about the beauty of the Gospel.  It is real and it is powerful.


The Gospel should change us.  It should change how we view God, of course, but also impact how we love other Christians, our neighbor, and the creation.  Here, at Covenant, one catches a glimpse of what lives transformed by the Gospel really look like in an educational setting.  Here is a community where the Gospel is the center and the effects are pervasive.  I am very thankful that I was led to this place, and I pray that my life will exemplify the change wrought in me by the Gospel.  If it is reflected in me even half as powerfully as it is reflected in my professors then the seminary will have met it's goal: producing people who love Jesus more.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

Tim Keller's congregation in New York has a majority single demographic.  It is for this reason that "The Meaning of Marriage" is a book that speaks so well to an under-served demographic in the marriage resource genre.  Most books on the subject seem to focus on those already or just about to be married (like Bryan Chapell's excellent "Each for the Other*"), or focus on "biblical" courtship/dating.  Very few Christian books on a popular level, at least that I'm aware of, make a compelling case for marriage then go on to explain what a biblical marriage looks like.  Keller's book does just that and does it rather well. Like "Each for the Other," Keller's book revolves around Ephesians 5, though he focuses on verses 22 to 33.  He also goes back to creation in Genesis 2 in his exegesis of the Ephesians passage.  But before getting into the meaning and focus of Ephesians 5, he looks at much contemporary research to make a case for marriage over against cohabitation, extramarital affairs, and the prevalent "hook-up" culture of today.  He does this exceptionally well, and offers a prophetic voice against the self-centered search for the "perfect" person that so riddles our nation today.  In fact, the first chapter of the book should be required reading for any single person who is interested in marriage at some point.  (As an aside, Keller does an excellent job of recognizing that while his book focuses on marriage, there is no shame for those called to a single a life.  He includes an entire chapter dedicated to singleness). Over eight chapters, Keller addresses a range of topics concerning marriage.  From what marriage is and what it does, to pastoral help and hope for how to "make it work," Keller's experience and learning are on display throughout.  He (and his wife, Kathy) discuss topics as wide-ranging as headship, sanctification, and sex. "The Meaning of Marriage" has wide appeal.  It is useful for those who are married, those who are single, for pastors and counselors, for men and women.  It is wise and winsome, and does not pull any punches.  It certainly stands out in its ability to address single people.  It does this better than any marriage book I've yet read, though it is certainly not just written to singles.  His vision for what marriage should be, and what the church should do to support that are highlights of the book.  With "Each for the Other," it is a book that deserves to be on every married couple's bookshelf (and not just as decoration).  Would that I had read these about nine years ago.  The biblical basis and pastoral heart of these books make them so much more valuable and prophetic than the books that weigh down many a Christian bookstore shelf. Upon reading "The Meaning of Marriage," you will know better how to love your spouse, and you will understand the Gospel more fully.  Certainly a book that is worth your time.

*In contrasting these two books, "Each for the Other" addresses marriage then family.  "The Meaning of Marriage" addresses singleness then marriage.  If I had to give one to a married couple thinking of starting a family, it would be Chapell's.  If I had to give one to a single person, it would be Keller's.  If it was anyone outside of those specific circumstances, it's a real toss-up, but you can't go wrong either way.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Finals Week

Things have been a bit stressful around here.  The pace of life has been relentless for the last month.  The last couple of weeks have seen a couple papers, a final project, and four final exams due in quick succession.  It has been some time since I have had to wrestle with this kind of stress.  I graduated from college in 2003 and I did not have children then.  These past few weeks have been a real learning experience in several ways.


First, and most obviously, I've learned and consolidated a lot of information during my preparation for finals.  My professors did an excellent job of choosing exam questions and assigning papers that underscored the major aspects of the lectures and readings that we had this semester.  


Secondly, I learned a lot about working in community (a big focus at the seminary).  In my beginning homiletics class, we had to write a sermon in a group of six.  The goal of this assignment was that we would teach each other, help each other understand more of the material, and to show us how to work together and compromise.  It was a good experience.  Our finished project is an interesting collection of different styles and diverse backgrounds.  Then, in my Introduction to Covenant Theology class, we took an oral exam as a group of three.  We learned to rely on and support each other, and to work for the benefit of the others in the group.  Both of these exercises help to prepare us for ministry.  In the future, as a member of a session, I must know how to work with others to lead the church.  These assignments are designed to begin to teach me these valuable skills.


Finally, I learned that my grades are not the only, or even most important thing.  There is certainly enough to do during finals that one could easily spend every waking moment studying, preparing for exams, and working on papers.  But, as a father and husband who is preparing for ministry, acing my exams while failing as a father and husband is not really preparation for ministry.  The qualification for being an elder is not academic brilliance, but faithfulness to one's calling, both as a Christian and as a husband or father (cf. 1 Timothy 3.1-7).  Not that I should be lazy and fail to work in my studies, but I should not study to the detriment of my family.  I am certainly not sure that I succeeded in living this out, but it is certainly a lesson for life in ministry that I will take out of the process.


As my first full-time semester at Covenant Theological Seminary comes to a close, I am thankful for all my professors and classmates who helped me learn these valuable lessons.  I am grateful to be at a place where teaching does not only occur in the classroom. I am thankful that the school is so focused on practical preparation for ministry and not just academic ability, while simultaneously pushing us to be scholars.  I am thankful that my family is patient with me as a learn to balance academics, family, and preparation for ministry.  Mostly, though, I'm thankful that my true worth is found in Christ, and not in my own efforts.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Greek

It seems appropriate, in light of the exam that I took yesterday, to write about the experience of taking first year Greek in seminary.  It is a right of passage for all first year seminary students.  A crucible to refine and soften us.  I have no military background, but I think the analogy of boot camp for your brain would be appropriate.  


It is a frustrating process.  The majority of the task is relentless memorization.  Memorization of vocabulary.  Memorization of noun declensions.  Memorization of verb inflection.  Memorization of rules.  Memorization of when to break the rules.  And worst of all, memorization of principal parts.

On the surface, this seems like a mere academic endeavor.  Sure, you get to know the feel and meaning of the New Testament more fully, but you don't need it to understand the Bible, especially with the many language tools available.  In fact, I imagine at some seminaries and graduate schools, Greek is mere academic exercise.  Here, though, things are different.

Two weeks ago I met with Dr. Bayer to discuss preparing for the exam.  While we talked about learning the language I mentioned how much I appreciated his exegetical insights and his wonderfully devotional prayers.  He responded by sharing the motivation that he and his colleagues share in the language classes.  Greek, he said, is not just about learning a language, but about building community as we study and struggle together.  It is about learning humility.  It is about managing stress and time.  It is about relying on God.  It is about our sanctification.

As much as I enjoy being able to read a Greek New Testament, and as valuable as that will prove in my ministry, the process of sanctification that I am going through and the peers who share that experience with me are the real benefits of learning the language.  I have made some very good friends as we study, struggle, and learn together.  These are relationships that will be with me long after the fourth principle part of ἐρκομαι has been lost somewhere in my memory.

I am truly blessed to have professors who see their task of getting facts into our heads as secondary to growing Jesus in our hearts.  I am blessed to have classmates and friends who encourage me when I'm down, motivate me when I'm tired, commiserate with me when I'm frustrated, and celebrate with me when I manage to pass a quiz or test.  Most of all, I'm thankful for a God who is my Father.  A Father who has graciously put people in my life who can help me see the spiritual benefit of a seemingly "academic" task.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."