It was an odd way to begin an academic career. Almost from kindergarten, school has been a competition. But when Dr. Guthrie addressed the incoming class at Covenant Seminary at the beginning of this past semester, the tone was markedly different.
He stood up before a room of eager incoming students and told us that our career in seminary was not about us. It isn't about us looking good. It isn't about us looking smart. It isn't about having our intellectual itch scratched. It is about the people that we would be pastoring when we leave seminary. It is about our brothers that we will minister with. It is about growing in our love of the Lord.
Because of these things, our experience at Covenant is to be an experience of community. Instead of competing with each other, we support, love, and care for each other. The professors intentionally give us group assignments, and even finals, because it's not about us, but about the community of believers called the church. If we do not learn this here, we may never do so. If we don't learn this at seminary, we will do damage to our churches when we leave.
It is a lesson that is hard to learn. Most of us at seminary have a certain type-A personality and a drive to learn. It can be hard to take an exam and not wonder how you measure up. It is difficult to unlearn what our educational and cultural institutions have taught us for so long. But it is an important message. It is something that, once grasped, will benefit others. And that is a good thing, because, after all, it's not about me.
"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."
Things have been a bit stressful around here. The pace of life has been relentless for the last month. The last couple of weeks have seen a couple papers, a final project, and four final exams due in quick succession. It has been some time since I have had to wrestle with this kind of stress. I graduated from college in 2003 and I did not have children then. These past few weeks have been a real learning experience in several ways.
First, and most obviously, I've learned and consolidated a lot of information during my preparation for finals. My professors did an excellent job of choosing exam questions and assigning papers that underscored the major aspects of the lectures and readings that we had this semester.
Secondly, I learned a lot about working in community (a big focus at the seminary). In my beginning homiletics class, we had to write a sermon in a group of six. The goal of this assignment was that we would teach each other, help each other understand more of the material, and to show us how to work together and compromise. It was a good experience. Our finished project is an interesting collection of different styles and diverse backgrounds. Then, in my Introduction to Covenant Theology class, we took an oral exam as a group of three. We learned to rely on and support each other, and to work for the benefit of the others in the group. Both of these exercises help to prepare us for ministry. In the future, as a member of a session, I must know how to work with others to lead the church. These assignments are designed to begin to teach me these valuable skills.
Finally, I learned that my grades are not the only, or even most important thing. There is certainly enough to do during finals that one could easily spend every waking moment studying, preparing for exams, and working on papers. But, as a father and husband who is preparing for ministry, acing my exams while failing as a father and husband is not really preparation for ministry. The qualification for being an elder is not academic brilliance, but faithfulness to one's calling, both as a Christian and as a husband or father (cf. 1 Timothy 3.1-7). Not that I should be lazy and fail to work in my studies, but I should not study to the detriment of my family. I am certainly not sure that I succeeded in living this out, but it is certainly a lesson for life in ministry that I will take out of the process.
As my first full-time semester at Covenant Theological Seminary comes to a close, I am thankful for all my professors and classmates who helped me learn these valuable lessons. I am grateful to be at a place where teaching does not only occur in the classroom. I am thankful that the school is so focused on practical preparation for ministry and not just academic ability, while simultaneously pushing us to be scholars. I am thankful that my family is patient with me as a learn to balance academics, family, and preparation for ministry. Mostly, though, I'm thankful that my true worth is found in Christ, and not in my own efforts.
"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."
