Taking the Bait

I know that Ann Coulter is just out to get attention.  I also know that writing about her plays into her scheme to get attention.  I can relate to that.  My own public disappointment with her comments about those among us with Down Syndrome was equally narcissistic (I wouldn't want anyone to think that I thought so lowly of others, or that I could be so intensive, even though I do both of those things).  What initially upset me was that her comments hit a bit too close to home (I have a son with a neurological disorder), but I wonder if I was too quick to make sure everyone knew what she did wrong without first thinking of how I do the exact same thing.  What she said was terrible.  I know that any reasonable person will see her comments for what they are: rude, insensitive, cruel, and, let's be honest, evil.  But in looking back, I wonder if my attitude towards her wasn't the exact thing as her attitude towards those among us with special needs?

A Special Olympics athlete wrote an excellent open letter to Ann Coulter.  It is worth your time to read it.  Hopefully, through responses like John's, the struggles and the value of the special needs community will gain a deserved moment in the national spotlight.  God can and does use that which was intended for evil for good. John has said it well enough, so I'll add no more criticism.

What I really wonder, though, is how I can be so ungracious in telling others that they need to demonstrate more grace.  I'm not saying that what she said doesn't matter.  What she did and said was wrong on several levels (belittling the special needs community, speaking poorly of the President who is, as Paul says, God's servant [διακονς]).  But my reaction to her was just as rude and unloving as her attitude towards both our President and the special needs community.

In 1 Corinthians 5:10ff Paul tells the the church that when he said not to associate with sinners (specifically, with sexually immoral people) in his previous letter he did not mean the sinners "of this world...since then you would need to go out of the world...For what have I to do with judging outsiders?  Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?  God judges those outside."  It seems that in responding to Ann Coulter that I, like the Corinthians, forgot the Gospel.

What if my first thought would have been, "there's a person who needs Jesus" instead of "what a terrible person!"  What if my first reaction would have been to pray for her, instead of posting about how terrible she is.  What if I would have realized that I need God's grace every bit as much as she does.  I've been a Christian for a long time, and I have proven once again that I still forget the Gospel.  

Ann Coulter is a sinner, but guess what, I am too.  Praise God that He is gracious to sinners.  Praise God for taking my sins of arrogance, judgmentalism,  hostility and all the rest upon Himself out of shear, unbounded, eternal love.  I pray that I remember that next time I see someone else acting just like me.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Raising a Special Needs Child in Seminary

Seminary life is tough.  Everybody here faces a unique set of challenges as they pursue God's calling.  It seems that any seminary student that you talk to has some sort of unique challenge that they face.  We are no different in this.  For us, aside from the time, financial  and academic stress, our challenge has been raising our special needs child during seminary.

We found out about a week ago that our oldest son has mild Autism.  In years past, his constellation of symptoms would more likely have been called Asperger's syndrome, but with DSM-5 looming, that will no longer be available as a diagnosis.  Mild Autism is a pervasive developmental disorder which manifests itself in various ways.  Often people with autism have a difficult time understanding and reacting to social and relational cues that you and I take for granted.  They often become fixated on one subject (in my son's case right now, cars and trains).  There are also gross and fine motor challenges, as well as sensitivity to sounds, smells, colors, lights, and other sensory stimuli.  It is a difficult disorder to discuss because the symptoms vary greatly from person to person.

To help you understand a bit about our son's challenges, I think it will be helpful to relate a few of the everyday tasks that are a real challenge in our household:

• Eating:  Our boy is an extremely picky eater.  His sensitivity to wide range of sensations makes dinner time a real challenge.  My mom always said that I was a very picky eater (I still am).  Picture a picky eater that you know.  Now, picture that person being picky not just about taste, but about color, temperature, texture, the type of plate the food is on, how many types of food are on one plate, if something smells a bit differently, and so on.  Even the same type of food can be off putting.  We once (foolishly!) bought a different kind of chicken nuggets that were not "crumbly" enough.
• Getting dressed:  With our son's gross and fine motor challenges, he has a great deal of trouble getting dressed.  He cannot put on his socks and shoes.  He can't put on a shirt, or pull down his pants.  As we try to help him learn these skills (which his brother who is 2 years younger picked up on his own) it can be very frustrating for him.
• Social language:  Social language is difficult for our son.  This is a bit hard to describe.  He does not recognize when another person is upset, or even crying.  He does not understand when his friends want to play in a different way, or that he should play in a similar manner to them.  He has very strict rules about how to do things like ride his bike.  If his friends don't follow his rules (even though they are quite arbitrary), it can cause him to "melt down."
• Transitions:  Speaking of melt downs, transitions are very difficult for our son.  There is a certain rhythm and routine to our day, and if those are changed unexpectedly, it can be tough.  Even a rain storm that makes us come inside early can be very traumatic for him.
• Bed time:  Bed time is very difficult.  Many nights, bed time drags on for a few hours. He just can't settle.  He's not being defiant or rebellious, his brain just does not switch off and relax like a neuro-typical person's brain.
• Processing:  In short, Will processes things differently.  He is extremely intelligent.  He is well beyond his age in all of the intelligence benchmarks, but his other limitations are a constant force of frustration for him.  He sees everything differently.

In many ways, the autistic child's mind is constantly trying to organize and make sense of a seemingly chaotic world.  I honestly do not understand how he sees the world, how he thinks.  I know a lot more now than I did a year ago, but much of it is still a mystery.

Raising our autistic son can be a real spiritual struggle.  I mean no offense by this, but if you do not live with an autistic person, it is very difficult to understand what it is like.  It requires constant, unrelenting, and intense focus.  Things don't get better as he gets older.  He isn't just being a boy.  It is not (usually...hopefully) a matter of us failing to discipline properly.  A few years ago, I was the guy in the grocery store who looked at a child screaming about wanting to look at the toys and thinking "My kid will never be that way."  There are bad parents out there, to be sure, but I repent of my arrogance and unloving attitude in those situations.  I know that looking at the toys may be part of the routine, and if you have to quickly run to the store and don't have time to follow the routine, it can be devastating for a kid with Autism.  That happened to us two weeks ago.  1 Timothy 3.4-5 is downright scary  for a person training to be pastor who is the father of an autistic child.  My son's behaviors can so often look like the result of bad parenting.

Life with a special needs child is a struggle.  At times, it makes me question, to my shame, if God's grace really is sufficient.  There are days that, honestly, I just try to get through.  Yet, for every second like that, there are countless hours of joy and happiness generated by our little boy.  He is a very happy, very loving, precious child.  He is truly a gift of God.

On those really tough days, when it is hard to be a good father, when it is just trial after trial and challenge after challenge, I remember that I have Father who loves me even when I frustrate Him.  I have a Father who does not deal with odd taste in food, but with a heart born in rebellion and enmity towards Him.  I have Father who loves me so much that He will stop at nothing to show me His love (1 John 4.10).  Raising a special needs child in the stressful environment of seminary life is a real challenge, but in those moments when I question God's goodness I remember, I'm the special needs child whose Father loves him.  I am loved not because I am good, but because God in His grace chose to love and save me in spite of my rebellion.  This is the Christ-like love that I am called to show to my precious little gift from God.  This is love that I can show only because of and through God's love to me.

My wife and I have decided to be very open with our boys and with others about our son's autism.  This is not an approach that everyone with an autistic child does or should take.  We have chosen to be open about it because it is our hope that someday, our son will know that his autism is not something for him to be ashamed of, and not something that makes us love him less, but it is part of the way that God made him.  God has special and unique plans for him, and hiding his autism will not help him understand that he is loved by us and by God just as he is.  

Autism is a word that many people know, but I think most people (including me until the past year) know very little about it.  Another reason that we are choosing to be open about our life with autism is that we hope that we can perhaps encourage others who are going through similar issues or are curious about the various aspects of parenting an autistic child.  Please, if you have any questions about anything related to our son and his autism, feel free to ask us either in person, via social media (like Facebook), through e-mail, a phone call, or even a comment below.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

The Heart of Evangelism and Learning Evangelism from Jesus by Jerram Barrs

Evangelism may well be the most difficult aspect of the Christian faith.  For many of us, sharing our faith can be intimidating.  Some of that fear generates from our own shyness.  We would be just as intimidated if we were asking for directions.  Some of our fear comes from our participation in failed and insensitive "evangelistic" methodologies.  For others, the offense of the cross is an offense to the would-be evangelist, and so he neglects to share his faith.  Against these challenges, Professor Jerram Barrs lays out a Biblical approach to evangelism over the course of two books; The Heart of Evangelism and Learning Evangelism from Jesus.

In The Heart of Evangelism, Barrs lays out the foundation for this approach.  This book is divided into four major sections dealing with the "Mission to the World", "God's Kindness and Perseverance," "Barriers in the Way of Communicating the Gospel," and finally, "Making the Gospel Known."  The first lays out God's call to mission and the foundations for fulfilling this mission, things like prayer and a faithful life.  The second section deals with God's work in evangelism, and the variety of ways that God prepares people's hearts for hearing the Good News.  The following section contains an important discussion about evangelism in our time and the unique challenges that we face, both within and outside of ourselves.  Finally, the book concludes by giving the reader seven "principles" which should shape our evangelistic efforts.  These are not "steps to evangelism," but rather a philosophy of evangelism that fleshes out the implications of the previous three sections in light of the Bible.

Learning Evangelism from Jesus is a different sort of book.  Instead of developing a theology or philosophy of evangelism, this book seeks to understand evangelism as it is portrayed in the pages of Scripture.  Of the sixteen chapters in this book, fifteen of them are case studies drawn from the pages of the New Testament.  The first chapter summarizes the content of The Heart of Evangelism.  Throughout the remainder of the book, the reader is able to see how these ideas about evangelism play out in the pages of the Bible.  Over the course of this book one sees the way that Jesus shares about God with legalists, seekers, sinners, and others.  It is in this book that the compassionate method of evangelism that Barrs proposed in the previous book is demonstrated in practice.

These books read like companion volumes.  The first book gives us a skeleton, an outline of what evangelism should be.  The second book puts muscles and flesh on the bones.  It shows what the type of evangelism that Barrs proposes looks like on the ground.  These are challenging books.  In their pages one will not find a simple or formulaic approach to evangelism.  Instead, one will see what evangelism through relationship and compassion looks like.  Together, these books challenge the way that the Christian sees the unbeliever.  It challenges us to understand the difference between the Law and the Gospel.  It challenges the reader to take evangelism seriously.  

I have read a lot of good books during my first year of seminary, but none have been as challenging or, at the risk of overstatement, as life-changing as these two. It was an honor and privilege to sit in Professor Barr's class for a full semester.  Fortunately for the reader, his character and graciousness shines through the pages of both of these books. For anyone who finds evangelism difficult, or who is weary of "canned" Gospel presentations, or for those who want to be challenged and have their heart for others shaped by the Gospel, I cannot recommend these books highly enough.    

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Pastors or Scholars?

When I was accepted to Covenant Seminary, I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  I had been told by many people that it was a great school.  Every Covenant graduate that I met was extremely happy about the time they spent here.  When my wife and I visited the seminary, we came away very impressed.  Instead of "selling" the school during our admissions interview we were advised to confirm our calling to ministry before we decided to come.  In spite of these great endorsements, however, one never is quite sure if a move halfway across the country is really ever a great idea.  I have been here for about six months, and the question "was it worth it?" has been met by an emphatic, "YES!"  I am quite sure that God led me to the right seminary.


There are plenty of seminaries that will give you a good education.  Covenant is no exception.  A quick browse through the faculty shows degrees from Harvard, Princeton, Cambridge, and so forth.  This is not exceptional.   Our professors write articles for journals, have books published, and speak at conferences.  In class we interact with the thoughts and writings of important Christian thinkers and ideas.  We talk about accusativus cum infinitivo in Greek, about Schleiermacher in systematic theology, about critical realism and speech-act theory in our hermeneutics class, and about Aristotle's "On Rhetoric" in homiletics.  All seminaries do these things.  With all of this academic rigor in any seminary curriculum, it is little wonder that many people jokingly call seminary a cemetery.  In fact, Google returned 3.7million hits in 0.36 seconds for the phrase "seminary cemetery."


This, though, is far from the case here at Covenant.  While Dr. Bayer did strongly hint at the existence of a cemetery on campus for students who died learning Greek (a situation that he made sound quite common), Covenant has been a place where one not only grows in knowledge, but in love and faith as well.  At our orientation we were told that the seminary's pedagogical goal was not to put facts in our heads (though they certainly do), but to make us closer to Jesus.  One imagines that many seminaries say this, but here, they mean it.  


Every class in every course is designed to help us not only know about God, but to show us why and how to love Him.  Our professors demonstrate this love of God everyday.  They preach the Gospel to us and show us how to help others understand it.  This is not just something they know in the abstract, it is something they believe and trust in.  Just this past week three professors in different classes were brought to the point of tears when talking about the beauty of the Gospel.  It is real and it is powerful.


The Gospel should change us.  It should change how we view God, of course, but also impact how we love other Christians, our neighbor, and the creation.  Here, at Covenant, one catches a glimpse of what lives transformed by the Gospel really look like in an educational setting.  Here is a community where the Gospel is the center and the effects are pervasive.  I am very thankful that I was led to this place, and I pray that my life will exemplify the change wrought in me by the Gospel.  If it is reflected in me even half as powerfully as it is reflected in my professors then the seminary will have met it's goal: producing people who love Jesus more.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Children of the Living God by Sinclair Ferguson

"Children of the Living God" is not a long book, in fact it is fairly short.  The books brevity disguises its profundity.  In 125 pages Dr. Ferguson takes us through the doctrine of adoption in a way that will leave few Christians unaffected.  Those who read this brief and thorough work will come away with a new appreciation of how the believer relates to God the Father.

The book begins with this thesis: "[God's relationship to us as our Father] is the way -- not the only way, but the fundamental way -- for the Christian to think about himself or herself" (Italics his).  A lofty claim, to be sure, but over nine chapters, he makes his case well.

Being a child of God was not something that I thought of very much as I grew up.  I prayed to God as Father, but never contemplated the ramifications of that truth for my life.  Dr. Ferguson explains the nature of relationship through a close look at what the Bible says about our New Birth and Adoption.  He expounds on what our  life in God's family is like, and what traits his children posses.  He talks about the freedom we experience as his children.  He then writes a profound chapter concerning Fatherly Discipline that, in itself, is worth the price of the book.

While this book is short, it is quite dense.  Dr. Ferguson, to his credit, uses a lot of Scripture.  He does not spend a lot of time on illustrations or stories.  This means that each paragraph is exposition or application with little time to catch ones breath.  The feeling that I had in reading this was an overwhelming sense of the truth that Dr. Ferguson was explaining coupled with the conviction that our relationship to God as children must impact us on a daily basis.

I have heard from a student at another seminary that she had to read this book during her first semester as well.  I am thankful that Dr. Douglas assigned it here at Covenant.  After I read this book I realized that I need to talk about this more.  Our standing with God as children is a marvelous, gracious truth that is too often acknowledged and passed over or even ignored completely.  I pray that I don't fall victim to that temptation, and Dr. Ferguson's book has done much to prevent that outcome.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!... Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."

-1 John 3:1-2

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Creation Care and My Friend Louie

This past Friday my family and I had to say goodbye to our cat, Louie.  He was the quintessential lap kitty who could always be counted on to keep us warm (even in the midst of summer).  He was certainly a scaredy-cat, but he was very friendly, and once he got to know you, he would let you pet him for hours on end.

Over the course of the last few weeks, Louie became very ill.  He was quickly loosing weight, had stopped eating, and there were some signs that there was something seriously wrong.  A visit to the vet confirmed that he had something, either a foreign object or a growth, that was causing him to bleed.  There was a chance that further expensive tests, surgeries, and treatments may reveal a method of treatment that could save him, but it would have been quite a difficult process.  With the serious discomfort our Louie would face, and because we could not afford a sustained, uncertain treatment plan, we made the difficult decision to let Louie go.

On Tuesday of this past week, Dr. Jay Sklar gave a lecture on Genesis 1-2.  Part of our discussion revolved around our duty as humans made in the image of God to care for His good creation.  We are to care for our earth, and the creatures in it, and facilitate its flourishing.  As I sat at the vet's office contemplating what would be best for our sick cat, I couldn't help but wonder if I was living up to our calling as God's vice-regents in creation.  I think Louie had a better life than most animals, and lived longer than he would have in the wild.  We tried make our home a good place for him, and fed and cared for him as best we could.  But nevertheless, the final days of his life make me wonder if we did all we could have done.

What is perhaps most clear in all of this, though, is the impact of Genesis 3.  This world does not work as it should.  Death has come to reign in the world though the rebellion and sin of our first parents.  We cannot live up to the calling of Genesis 1-2 because of the events of Genesis 3.

But there is great news to be found even in this.  God in His infinite grace and mercy has a plan to overcome our rebellion.  He is redeeming us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and through Him, all creation will be restored and made new.  As Paul says in Colossians 1.15-20:
 
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross." ESV


Praise be to God for the redemption He has given in His Son and the restoration of all His good creation.  As the end of the story says, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." -Revelation 21.4

Soli Deo gloria.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

A Lecture Worth Hearing

On Thursday at Covenant Seminary, Dr. Sklar lectured on the Exodus community.  We are beginning to study hermeneutics.  Since the Pentateuch was written to the Exodus community, the professors want us to know and understand that community.  In so doing, we can better understand the text and how it related to its original audience.

We began our discussion with God's revelation of His name to Moses at the burning bush.  He is YHWH.  He is the God who is known by His action in the world.  He is the one who made promises to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  He promised Abraham in Genisis 12.1-3, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”


 As the Israelites in Egypt looked around, they could see that they were indeed a great nation.  If God kept this promise, surely He will keep the rest of the promises of His covenant.  The God of promise, Yahweh, is their king.  He is all-powerful.  He keeps His promises.  He is Israel's covenant-keeping God and Lord.

As they wandered out from Egypt into the desert and faced trials, they knew that they had a Sovereign, all-powerful God who had adopted them as His children.  As His children, they were to be about the Father's business.  As Dr. Williams said, "What God is doing in Abraham redemptively is what God intended to do with Adam creatively."  Israel was God's redeemed people.  They were part of His re-creation through a redeemed, covenant people.

Because God is who He is, each and every Israelite could look back to this event, the Exodus, and know that God keeps His promises.  They are to remember this during the Passover.  They are to confess the Lord's grace to them.  They are to remember His salvation.  They were called out of Egypt to the land, not just for rescue, but to do something.  They were to be a nation of priests, a holy nation.

The Exodus was God's great redemptive act for the nation of Israel in the Old Testament.  As this community received the Pentateuch, they were to look back on God's faithfulness to His covenant with Abraham and have faith that he would uphold His word.  And in that confidence, they were to be what Adam failed to be.

The Pentateuch, then, answers the questions of a people half way to the destination, a people wandering in the wilderness.  "How do we know we will inherit the promises?"  "How do we praise God?"  "What is a faithful member of the community?"  "What is a kingdom of priests?"  And most importantly, "Who is Yahweh?"

Today, there has been yet another great redemptive act of God.  God Himself has come to earth to be what Adam could not, and what Israel could not.  God, through Christ, was reconciling us to Himself.  Jesus fulfilled the promises made to Abraham.  He is the "seed" of the promise.  He has reconciled us to God and has made us, His church, a nation of priests, a holy nation.  And so we, like the Exodus community, are to be about our Father's business.  Out of love for God we are to live lives of service to Him.  We should live as a thankful people.  That thankfulness should cause us to live a life that is pleasing to Him.  As Calvin said in his Institutes, “Here indeed is pure and real religion: faith so joined with an earnest fear of God that this fear also embraces willing reverence, and carries with it such legitimate worship as is prescribed in the law." (1,2,2)

As Paul says in Romans 12.1, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."

Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges

Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges is a relatively short, easily readable, and very clear introduction to the Doctrines of Grace.  It is written at a popular level, but its reflective character and sincere exhortation make it a valuable read for any Christian.


In Transforming Grace, Bridges starts with some of the frustrations of the Christian life (a chapter called "The Performance Treadmill"), then demonstrates how God's grace is not just for our justification, but for our sanctification and our whole life as well.  He goes on to discuss the doctrines of God's free grace against the tendencies towards legalism and anti-nomianism, and shows in concrete ways how these doctrines apply to daily living.


If someone were to ask me what book I would give a new Christian to help them understand their salvation and God's grace towards them, I would be hard pressed to find a better, simpler, and more practical book than Transforming Grace.  There are certainly more technical works that go into much great depth, but as an overview, this book is very good.  As someone who is not new to the faith, I still found this book an encouraging reminder of the great salvation that we have in Christ.  This book is at its best when it causes you to sit back and marvel at the wonderful grace that God has shown his people.  This quality alone makes this book a worthwhile read.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere." 

Stress and Contentment

I have been in seminary for about half a semester.  In those two months, I have learned that life in seminary is very stressful.  New seminarians face time pressure, financial pressure, academic pressure, and family pressure.   Many of us are coming from good careers into a world of uncertainty.

As I interact with talented professors and peers thoughts creep into my mind that question my sufficiency for the calling to vocational ministry.  There are many here who are better equipped than I, and I wonder if in four years time I will have done well enough to find a church calling.  There is no doubt that most of my peers would concur, seminary is stressful.

What is ironic about the stress of seminary, though, is that the remedy for this stress is preached to us daily.  In class, in chapel, at church, and in our reading seminarians are faced daily with the Gospel.  Our sufficiency in Christ is demonstrated daily.  The realization that we are never good enough is proclaimed and accepted.

In the first lecture in my beginning homiletics class, Dr. Chapell highlighted this.  It is not until we realize our insufficiency that we will be able to preach with any efficiency.  If I do not know that I need God's grace, I'll never be able to proclaim that grace to others.

As I stay up until after midnight studying, or wake up at 5:00am to review paradigms, I must remember that I am not here working for myself.  I am here working for Christ, His kingdom, and His church.

"Cor meum tibi offero, Domine, prompte et sincere."